In which the Avengers are turned into kids and Nick Fury is infuriated
by good'unstaken
Summary: In which the Avengers are turned into kids and Nick Fury is infuriated ... Yeah, the title basically sums it up. Rated for language, Fury and Stark. Features all the Avengers, and might feature a midgetified Loki later on. Will also feature some other Marvel characters.
1. Of blue, not green gas and 9foot robots

**A/N: Disclaimer - Wish I own Marvel. I don't. That's why life sucks.**

**Note: Flames will be used to roast marshmallows, and warm myself up - not really necessary in this heat.**

**Well, I won't bore you with any more author banter, and you can always check my profile to learn a bit about me, 'cause I'M AWESOME - Well not really. Anyway, I'll be updating my profile aaany time soon, sooo, yeah, enjoy:**

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**Chapter 1 : Of blue, not green gas and 9foot robots  
**

* * *

Clint Barton's lips twitched up into a grim smile as a sonic arrow of his latched itself firmly onto the back of the head of the nine-foot tall robot he and the Avengers were currently fighting, the spot without the expensive forcefield generator's coverage. It immediately began to emit a very high pitched, concentrated sound that he and the others could not hear, but which made the robot's parts vibrate fast enough to cause sporadic disruptions in it's functioning. Ah, yes, it's elbows were already turning backwards.

* * *

Tony Stark was a billionaire and he knew it. So, when he threw the 2014 concept Chevy Stingray into the robot's face, and sadly watched the _awesome_ car smashed to pieces, he didn't worry about covering the cost of property damage. Oh, yeah, SHIELD would take care of that anyway. Smiling, he drove a fist into the bot's knee and launched a timer missile into it, scanning it to make sure that it was firmly locked in place, then got out of the way to let it work it's magic.

* * *

Steve covered his face with his shield as Stark's missile exploded, sending bits of metal flying everywhere. When he looked back at the robot, he saw with some trepidation and a bit of satisfaction that, while the knee had blown up, a rigid metal latticed structure had taken the place of it's leg. Narrowing his eyes, he threw the shield at the 'leg', slicing cleanly through it and bringing the robot down onto it's side. Smiling, he deftly caught the shield as it flew back at him.

* * *

Natasha had expected and been waiting for it. So the moment the robot fell over, she immediately aimed her pistols at it's optics, knocking them out with two well placed shots when Clint's arrow caused the forcefield around it's head to disappear for a second. She, of course, knew that the robot would have some backup navigation system, presumably ultrasonic that it's whole body would emit, and so passed this theory to Thor through the comms, who quickly confirmed it with Stark.

* * *

These mortal machines were tiring things indeed. But no matter! Thor Odinson would smite this one as he might smite any other villain daring enough to take on the wrath of the Avengers … and especially Thor Odinson. When he heard the Lady Natasha telling him through the curious device in his ear that he had to strike it with thunder when it lost control of it's remaining knee, he quickly checked with Friend Stark as to this hypothesis, and did just that upon his confirmation of, "That's the general idea."

* * *

The Hulk smiled. Because the Hulk was going to _SMASH _the puny robot in front of him. And he did just that.

* * *

In the wake of the battle, they saw that the aftermath was nothing too serious. A few damaged buildings, courtesy of the Hulk and the robot's wrestling match, a few smashed cars, which Tony kept complaining about until the Hawk reminded him that it was him who had done that _lovely_ Stingray in, and _Hell_ was he in for one hell of an earful when they got back to the tower, and a few injuries among the civilians, which the Cap was very conscious about. He too was planning a little monologue when they got back to the tower. But most of all, the Avengers were _bored._ That was why, at Tony's suggestion of a small holiday … at the tower, they all let off a humongous cheer anyway. Tony quickly contacted the X-men and Fantastic Four's phones, hacked in so that he could leave a message without having to wait for the phone to ring, and told them that the Avengers would be taking a little break for a week, so they were _NOT _to be contacted for any reason whatsoever in the next seven days, except if the world was taken over, in the following dulcet (not really) tones, "_X-men, Fantastic Four, welcome Tony Stark into your private networks. I am here in this ridiculously under-protected network" _the breach was discovered thirty seconds later- late in Tony's opinion, at the tiny level of stealth he _said _he had used, _"to give you a message. The Avengers will disappear to Stark Tower for the coming week under mysterious circumstances, which you shall _NOT _investigate, and will not appear until the week is over. You are _NOT _to try to contact them, under pain of very painful circumstances, unless either world domination or a hot girl is involved, who is not a member of any of us three teams. If you wish to contact a particular Avenger, call their cell phone – top of the line Stark phones, Richards – and they will contact you themselves if they wish. Thank you." _He disconnected right about when both teams discovered the intrusion.

Clint meanwhile was sadly examining the remains of the Stingray, while Natasha did the same with the robot, ever alert for a post- humous bomb, if the robot could … die. She reached into it's left eye and removed a bit of metal from it, and pocketed it to give to Tony later on. And that is why the Avengers, who were all busy either congratulating each other, or thinking about the holiday, or telling JARVIS to scan for a good bar in this area, or examining destroyed robots or destroyed cars, were not prepared for the _blue_ gas that poured out of the few remaining pillars around them.

Tony blinked as JARVIS automatically started filtering the air, "Since when was creepy gas blue?"

Clint quickly stuck an arrow to his mouth and pulled out the shaft, leaving some sort of metal structure covering his mouth and nose, "Forget the color, I don't want to miss a single moment of my holiday. Let's get out of here." But even as he said that, he noticed Stark and Natasha fall to the ground despite their air filters.

"Nat? Oh, shit!" He tapped into the SHIELD frequency on his comm., " SHIELD, we need an emergency evac..."

He passed out as well, followed by everyone else, including even the Hulk.

Their business is also the reason why, when SHIELD arrived about five minutes later, Nick Fury's namesake was aroused within him at seeing six super-powered toddlers, no more than six at the most, trying to blow each other up with miniscule weapons, while Steve's likeness tried to pull off an old-fashioned gas mask.


	2. Of scientific gibberish and doughnuts

**Well, I'm sorry, but there isn't much humor in this chapter. It's more of a filler, and a chance to write some scientific stuff and boast about the fact that I did some research and that all agents mentioned here are canon, either in the comic books or the Agents of SHIELD TV series. Also, as revealed in the Agents of SHIELD trailer, COULSON LIVES! WOOT! One other thing. ****PLEASE READ. IMPORTANT.**** First, this story is both drama and humor, so please don't expect laughs all the way. That doesn't mean that there won't be any jokes at all. Also, for me, there are two types of humor – Structured humor and random humor. I will be using the previous for this story, i.e.**

**Structured : **Nick Fury cautiously stepped into his office, wary of any more buckets of water on the doors. How the brats managed to pull off the prank when all the doors slid would elude him forever. Satisfied that there were no wet and feathery threats, he stepped into the office, only to have a suction cup arrow stick itself onto his eyepatch. He looked up just in time to see a tuft of dark blonde hair disappear into an air vent.

"**BARTON!"**

**Random: **The Avengers were only playing a game when suddenly, a dragon appeared outside their window. But Thor quickly threw his plastic hammer at it and killed it.

**Also, there are many instances where a cross of random and structured humor takes place as well and I think I'll also use those.**

**Well, sorry for the awfully long authors note – enjoy.**

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**My thanks to:**

**RockAngel2642, WritingHood, SerialKiller13 and HowTheStoryEnds for following my story.**

**Fearlee and WritingHood for reviewing.**

**SerialKiller13 for favoriting the story, and for favoriting and following me.**

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Warning : Swearing.(sorry Fearlee, but it _is _Fury.)

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**Chapter 2 : Of scientific gibberish and doughnuts**

"Sir?"

"Agent Hill."

"Those cards were found in Coulson's locker, not in his jacket."

"They needed the push."

* * *

**(This bit is in the Agents of SHIELD trailer.)**

* * *

Ward was irritated.

"What does SHIELD stand for, Agent Ward?"

Although he actually liked Maria Hill a bit, as much as he could like anyone, he was getting tired of these games. However, he retained his cool manner as he answered.

"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

"And what does that tell you?"

"That someone really wanted our initials to spell out SHIELD."

She smiled slightly, pausing in her pacing around the room then continuing.

"What do you know of Agent Coulson?"

God damn it, this was annoying. In a slightly impatient voice, "I have level 6 clearance. I know that Agent Coulson was killed during the tesseract event, before the battle in New York."

Said person promptly walked in through the door.

"Welcome to level 7."

* * *

Nick Fury was in a bad mood and he showed it. Striding through the halls of the helicarrier, he snapped at anyone unfortunate enough to be standing in his way, either with an eloquently phrased, "Get the _fuck _out of my way", or, more often, "_Fucking move!" _A few steps away from his destination, he thought about all the people he'd sent scurrying on the way, and was quite pleased with the head count. Mentally promising himself a scotch and a cream doughnut when he got back to his office, he quickly slapped the furious expression back onto his face as he saw Agent Sitwell round the corner, and avoid Fury completely. Finally reached the R&D department, he threw open the doors, and strode in, practically basking in the attention he received and reveling in the redoubled flurry of activity that followed. It wasn't that he was an egotistical idiot. He just liked to make sure that his people were working.

"Dr. Boothroyd, report." He barked into his earpiece, and watched the 'personal effects' (cough, weapons development, cough) director quickly walk towards him from the other side of the room. Fury could already tell by the expression on his face that he had news, but that it wasn't good.

"_Herr_, director" his feeble attempt at a joke made no impression at all on the half-livid director, "We have determined why the gas penetrated the air filters. Whoever pulled off the attack was rich. A specific permutation of iridium, palladium, and platinum, when used to coat _vibranium_ can allow it to retain vibrations inside of it, not moving, and then release a concentrated beam of high frequency vibrations when a chip is made in the coating using a special form of gamma radiation. When multiple beams are conjoined, the vibration is strong enough to rip apart _electrons, _and the rest of the sub-atomic particles, making atoms and molecules that are actually smaller than they should have been. Farrell's been experimenting with this technology to create miniscule holes in air filters, but the compound and radiation are extremely unstable, and we've had to call off most experiments half-way through-"

"Call in Dr. Pym; he knows vibranium better than anyone." Fury interrupted, "Continue."

"Will do, sir. Now, as for the de-aging compound itself, we've been having a hard time isolating any compounds. As I said, the molecules are extremely small, and whoever the culprit is, he was smart too. He's added many extra, and unnecessary gases into the mixture, to try and disguise the compound."

"Right, get Agents Simmons and Fitz to investigate possible bio-technology. Contact SWORD and make sure that it's not extra-terrestrial. God knows that we don't need a war when our response team is a bunch of toddlers. Get Richards on this too. Do you know how long it will last?"

"Unfortunately, no, director. We've collected blood samples from each Avenger, and we've managed to isolate the mixture responsible, but not the compound. We haven't managed to develop an antidote either, and, due to it's volatile nature, several agents have been de-aged to their teens. This gives us hope that it will wear off eventually."

'_Oh, good, now he had teenagers with _knives _to deal with.'_

"Great. Now I've got hormone crazy secret agents to deal with as well. Hmph, six year old superpowered supergeniuses aren't enough, huh? What happened to their weapons?"

"Ahh, _that_, director. Well… I have to admit, we know absolutely nothing about that. We-"

"Oh, fuck it." Fury interrupted, "I've got enough to deal with without having to worry about tiny bows and guns. Let's just be happy that Thor can't summon his hammer. Ask Henry McCoy and Reed Richards to help as well. Now, I've got to go appoint a baby-sitter."

"Of course, sir."

Boothroyd quickly walked back to his… his… unexplained science thing that Fury didn't want to know more about. He walked to the elevator and went up to the bridge.

"Hill, Coulson, report to the bridge – _now._"

His two agents appeared in the room a few minutes later.

"You two will be in charge of the Avengers."

Two pairs of incredulous eyes looked at him.

"_Excuse me, sir?"_

"You heard me – _now get moving."_

They vanished. Now, that doughnut...


	3. Of custard-armed robots and cookies

**Okay, two chapters in two days. I'm getting fast, heh. From now on, two friends of mine will be helping me with this story, SurpriseMeh and SmashingTonysk, giving me ideas, and perhaps beta'ing and giving me a reader's opinion. I think I'll do an occasional chapter, thanking all the people who review/favorite/follow. Oh, and for those of you who don't know, LEGO Mindstorms is LEGO's robotics line.**

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**Chapter 3 : Of custard-armed robots and stolen cookies**

* * *

Tony smiled. This really was his most innovative masterpiece so far.

* * *

Maria Hill blinked. How Tony Stark had managed to build a human sized robot in a kids' playroom escaped her. What eluded her even further was his method of procuring both the cookie jar, which they kept safely out of the Avengers' hands, and a fish. A living one. In the cookie jar that was full of water. On top of the robot, which he had apparently labeled 'JAR – FISH'. What angered her was that the cookies were nowhere to be seen, unless it was brown cookie crumbs that she spied on all the kids' lips. She checked her watch. Two-twenty. She sighed, thanking God that it was Coulson's turn to watch over them.

* * *

Coulson had been enjoying a Supernanny marathon, with popcorn, during a rare period free of work that did not involve guns, when Hill stormed in, visibly irritated and neatly plucked the popcorn bowl from his hands.

"Your shift."

Coulson sighed. He got up, paused the marathon, and left, stealing a handful of popcorn from what should have been _his _bowl. Wondering what the kids could have done to rile her ire so much, he turned back at the door to ask her when he saw that she had promptly fallen asleep in his armchair after flipping to a channel showing COPS. Smiling, he crept over, picked up the discarded bowl of popcorn and left after pausing the TV-computer thing that Stark used, closing the door on the way out. The Avengers had been deemed too unstable to be left on the helicarrier by the council, and all other afflicted agents had been ordered to a SHIELD ground base for testing, an order which Fury had promptly revoked. The Avengers had been transferred to Stark Tower the same day that Pym (with Janet in tow), Richards and McCoy had arrived at the helicarrier. Although they were all pretty serious scientists (apart from Janet), they had pretty much laughed their asses of at being briefed on the situation.

A handful of scientists, with Coulson, Hill and Sitwell (Who had volunteered to tag along after seeing Phil and Maria's crestfallen faces, for which the other two were infinitely grateful) had taken up residence at Stark Tower. He had no idea why Stark had a children's playroom, but he was grateful for it anyway. Pepper and Jane had had to be informed, but Pepper just sighed and told Phil that she would be back in a week from a world-wide business tour, stating that a break from Stark was a joy, even if he _had _been turned into a toddler. Jane had been initially worried, but, upon receiving a call from Pepper, decided that she too would arrive in a week's time with the other woman.

Finally reaching his destination, Coulson threw open the doors and gazed upon a scene that was the most humorous combination of destruction and … LEGO. Stark had, presumably using a LEGO Mindstorms set, managed to make a toddler – sized robot, using a _lot _of LEGO pieces. He had then stuck- Was that the cookie jar? Without any cookies? Damn the sneaky little blighters. He resumed his previous train of thought. Stark had attached the cookie jar … full of water being occupied by a … live fish? … where the robot's head would have been, and then labeled the moving structure 'JAR – FISH', as was evident from the A4 sized paper stuck on it's chest.

"JARVIS?"

"_Yes, sir?"_

"What's this?"

"_Mr. Stark apparently found it ingenious to make a robot out of LEGO, and then attach a cookie jar with a living fish in it, to function as it's head, then label it 'JAR – FISH', no doubt in my honor._"

Coulson wondered how Stark had managed to program JARVIS to be so pragmatically humorous, with the slightest bit of sarcasm. In fact, Stark had almost managed to allow JARVIS to speak like a human.

"What can you tell me about it?"

"_Mr. Stark has hidden fifteen LEGO parts that fire rubber-tipped darts on various parts of it's body. He has also constructed three specialized LEGO cannons that he built himself, that fire the balls that come in Mindstorms sets."_

Coulson knew it had been a bad idea to give them Mindstorms, even if it would make Stark shut up.

"_One of these cannons has three barrels and that can fire one after another. The robot has all the sensors that came in the Mindstorms package, and all the ones that he asked you to order online."_

'Asked', more like_ demanded._

"_Mr. Stark has made a joystick remotely connected to the robot and has programmed it so that, one, it has a number of preset, common functions, like walking, two, can control the movement of all joints individually, and three, can utilize all weapons. He has also incorporated a pair of spinning Bionicle circular dull plastic blades on each wrist and a pair of hidden catapults on it's shoulders, that, when flipped out, can fire little bits of custard mixed with cookie crumbs. It can navigate itself, using the sensors, avoid obstacles, and trade out it's feet for wheels, and can balance itself through use of a gyroscope. He has programmed it to walk to the door and fire all weapons on it, claiming, "We'll get out of this prison yet, soldiers.""_

Well, at least he knew where a bit of the cookies had gone. And anyway, they looked pretty happy, for prisoners. A sudden cheer made him look down into the playroom. The robot had gotten to it's feet, sloshing the water around inside it's head. Coulson now regretted showing them Megamind. The robot walked around the room a few times, and was impressed at what even a toddler Tony Stark could do. He quickly took out a thin, bar-like SHIELD standard camera, and snapped a few pictures, although he already had a ton of blackmail material, hoping that Tony would preserve it until tomorrow, when the scientists would arrive.

The front door opened. At Coulson's behest, JARVIS immediately brought up a screen on a wall, that showed Jasper in the lobby, asking Dummy to haul the humongous load of groceries, clothes and other whatnot to where it belonged.

In the playroom, the kids had begun a game of tag. Smiling, Coulson asked Jasper to come up to the playroom through his comm..


	4. Of infiltration and egg bombs

**Heh, a longer chapter than usual this time. A bit more action in this one. Uh, it's already late, so I'll end the A/N now and get on with the story. Maybe I'll write a bit more later. Sorry, this one may be a bit crude, because I don't have enough time to look through it properly, but I will tomorrow.  
**

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**Chapter 4 : Of infiltration and egg bombs**

* * *

"Okay, team!" Tony barked, marching up and down along the horizontal line of the assembled Avengers, as Janet watched from her position to the side, "Today is the day that we do a final maintenance check on the LEGO Buster, and then, we fire all weapons at once and unlock this prison door with the treacherously high doorknob. Is that clear?" A chorus of yes's answered him, all except for Steve, who had been turned into a wheezing asthmatic, sickly toothpick of a boy, who raised a hand. They weren't really prisoners; they just liked to pretend that way. And anyway, everything they wanted was in this and the adjoining rooms.

"Yes, Steve?" Tony barked.

"Um, what does tre… err… treacherous mean?" Steve asked in a quavering voice.

"It means … well…" Tony fumbled over the answer. He only knew that it was used to refer to somebody bad.

Observing this, Henry Pym raised an eyebrow, and asked Fitz, who had been stationed here along with Simmons, "What's their mental state? And their powers?"

Fitz responded in that extremely Scottish accent of his, "Well, we're not sure where they are, mentality wise, but we do know that they're stuck somewhere between adulthood and childhood. Not chronologically, like, but , for example, they've retained most of their memories, and a general sense of who they are, but since the gas devolved their minds somewhat into those of children, they simply have a lot less distinctive idea. Or maybe they just don't care. As for their powers, as you can see, Steve seems to have lost the serum. But we believe that a compound in the gas has actually forced it into storage in his muscle. Thor has kept his powers, at a lower level and we haven't dared to test the hulk."

Pym sighed, "Well, the robot's impressive. But then again, Stark made an engine at, what, eleven?" He watched Tony pick up a joystick and pop out at least 13 small dart … firing things from it's arms legs, shoulders and abdomen, to cheers from Janet and the kids. The playroom had a glass dome on top, with a balcony all around it, used for monitoring. He opened a little flap in the Plexiglas dome, and promptly got hit on the nose by a dart with a rubber bulb tip. Rubbing his nose, he looked up to see a pretty nice laser targeting system on the robot, with twenty lasers pointed at him.

"Oh, sorry Mister Pym." Called Bruce while the others laughed, Janet the hardest. Pym shook his head.

"Hey, Janet, I was about to go get some coffee. Want to come?"

Janet just waved him off dismissively, already engrossed once again in helping the kids upgrade their robot. Pym knew it had been a bad idea to bring her along. The lasers had been her idea.

* * *

They were quite cute, really. Janet mused as she brought the dart back to them.

"Thanks, Janet" Clint said happily as he re-inserted the dart into it's … thingamajig.

He then nudged Natasha and nodded towards the air vent. She quickly grabbed a little cylindrical thing and pressed one end to her ear and the other to the vent. After a few second, she squealed excitedly. Janet raised an eyebrow. The Black Widow squealing? Well, there was something you didn't see every day.

"It's Mister Furry!" Janet giggled at that. 'Mr. Furry'. She tried to imagine Fury's face at being called 'Furry'. Doubtless, his real last name would have been aroused.

Tony's head snapped up, "Oh, good! Just in time! Our robot is done, and in full working order. Clint, Natasha, you two are the away team. Go distract Mister Furry and we'll blow ourselves out of here. Got it?"

They both saluted and ran to the kitchen. They came back in a minute, hands laden with an egg in each. Janet surreptitiously looked away, at the same time discreetly sliding her funny, thin, bar-like SHIELD camera towards them across the floor. Natasha gave an egg to Clint, picked it up, started recording a video, took the egg back, and smiled at Janet, before disappearing down the vent, the outlet grill having been removed by Thor, who yelled down the vent, "I wish you a safe and successful journey, my friends! And please, if you could perhaps sneak up a few poptarts…?

"Clint's voice echoed back through the vent, "Will do, buddy!"

Janet smiled. '_Oh, this is going to be good._'

* * *

It was dark in the vent, but Clint had taken a small flashlight, which he now lit, and held between his teeth.

"Okay…" Clint's voice muffled by the flashlight, "So we turn right here and … wuahaaahhh"

The light fell from his mouth as he yelled, sliding down a decline in the vent. His flashlight quickly came sliding after him, and he blocked it with his arms.

"Clint?" Natasha's anxious voice came down to him as she knelt at the top of the slide, illuminated by the light in Clint's mouth. "I'm okay." Clint called back, "Just didn't expect it to be so close."

Natasha giggled as she gracefully slid down on her back, "Well, at least we're on the right floor now."

"I suppose… ow."

Natasha smiled at him, "Come on. Don't you want to drop eggs on Mister Furry's head?"

Clint nodded vigorously, and led the way round a corner and over to an outlet. Voices were speaking on the other side. Positioning themselves on either side of the grill, they saw 'Mister Furry's' bald head right beneath them, speaking to the scientists and some other people. "Okay" Natasha breathed, "Clint, the LEGO." Clint handed her a LEGO brick, and held the grill tight, as Natasha loosened the plastic holding it using the brick. He then silently removed the grill, and held an egg over the edge, waiting for the opportune moment to strike, as Natasha held the camera over the edge. Clint dropped the egg.

Whhooo… Splat.

The egg landed on Fury's hairless head, sending bits of yolk and white everywhere, but mostly dripping down over his face. For a moment, nobody moved. Then, the whole room, apart from Fury, burst into a helpless laugh. Clint quickly threw another egg, which hit fury with another satisfying report; everyone laughed harder. Fury looked up just in time to see the grill being replaced and two pairs of feet disappearing. He didn't say a word, just swept from the room in long strides, his face positively livid. The effect, however, was ruined somewhat by the egg running down it. Everyone else followed him, still guffawing.

The two spies quickly and silently doubled back and leapt into action. Natasha left her two eggs in the vent as she uncoiled a thin but sturdy rope from a pocket, one end of which had a strange mechanism attached to it. She quickly stuck that end into the roof of the vent and threw the other end down into the dining room which they had been using due to the readily available multiple coffee machines. The ones in the meeting room had been faulty. They quickly ran into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator door, and opened their mouths in awe at what could only be described as treat galore. Natasha immediately rushed back to the rope, and was halfway up it by the time Clint returned with two cartons of ice cream. He quickly threw one up to her. She then threw it up into the vent. The other was treated likewise.

* * *

Tony typed ferociously on his computer, manually operating the elevators, and jamming all of them, cheered on by Janet and the kids. Aaaannd… _Enter!_

* * *

Fury strode through the halls in his white and yellow headgear, growling furiously when all of the elevators refused to work. He immediately made for the stairs.

* * *

Ah, here they were. Clint ran back into the kitchen and threw a sixth box of poptarts up to Natasha, saying, "That's all six flavors. Okay, hang on."

"What do you think I'm doing?"

Clint smiled as he ran back to the kitchen. _Cookies… Oh, bite sized tarts… Ah ha, muffins… a tin of cupcakes… oh, nice, microwave nachos, pizzas and buffalo wings… and a _lot _of candy and chocolate. _

"And we're done" he said as he tossed up one last bar of chocolate to Natasha, then climbed up after her, "Oh, hang on." Looking out into the corridor, he saw something that made him grin.

"Nat, c'mon."

"Clint? Hang on. Where're we going?"

"_Come on!_"

They raced out into the corridor and their eyes lit up.

"Okay, we'll only take the toys that we _cannot _wait for, alright?" Natasha said, bouncing up and down.

"Everything?"

They didn't take everything from the extremely spacious bags that Jasper had brought the toys in. They just took what they could carry, taking into account their limited time, for each kid, all the while giggling at their ingenuity. A little plastic hammer with faux-runes for Thor, a smaller version of his shield for Steve, an advanced chemistry set for Tony, a small bow with an elastic bowstring for Clint, along with two dozen suction cup tipped arrows, and a Nerf gun for Natasha, who almost squealed at the many different configurations it could be reassembled into.

* * *

"_Stark!" _Fury had reached the playroom, barging in without so much as a 'by-your-leave', as Tony put it. He then saw Fury's peculiar fashion sentence in headgear, and promptly burst into laughter, along with the rest of the room. But Fury was in no mood for humor. He quickly scanned the room.

"Where are Barton and Romanoff?"

His eyes widened ever so slightly in realization. He pointed to two agents, "You two, out in the corridor. You two, in the room. Either of them appear, notify me. You all can disperse. _Scram!_ I've got two half-rogue agents to deal with."

He walked, keeping as much dignity as he could, back in the direction of the kitchen.

* * *

"Uhhh, how do we get back up this thing?" Clint asked, gesturing towards the slide, considering if he was going to name it 'Barton's Bane'. Had a nice ring to it.

Natasha rolled her eyes at him, "Like this, silly!" She pulled out the 'sticky rope' as Clint had dubbed it, and stuck the sticky end to a Nerf dart using some cello tape. She loaded the gun with the gun with the new and improved dart.

"Hey, can I-"Clint was interrupted by Natasha firing at the top of the slide. Clint sighed in exasperation.

"I'm supposed to be the one with the funky firing stuff."

Natasha smiled. "Come on."

They quickly shimmied up the rope, and ran crouching over to the playroom hatch. Two agents. Steve caught Clint's eye, and shook his head ever so slightly, motioning discreetly to the agents. Clint, even at age six, knew a lot of colorful curses, which he put to good use now. Natasha tapped his shoulder, and motioned down the vent. He understood at once, and gave her one egg before running down the vent, while she used her dart assembly to zip up another one.

* * *

Fury reached the kitchen. Empty.

* * *

Reaching the vent hatch in the corridor, he used the edge of his bow to loosen the rubber holding the hatch and removed it when the agents weren't looking, then quickly threw an egg at one, satisfied at the messy result, blew them a giant raspberry, and pulled his head back into the vent. One of the agents quickly opened the door to the playroom and barked an order to an agent inside, who rushed out at once. He ran back to the playroom hatch and gave Natasha a thumbs up. She immediately opened her ceiling hatch (Which was thankfully on hinges) and launched her egg at the room's only remaining agent. It hit him right on the nose – and made him _mad. _But before he could make a move, two more eggs hit him from behind, courtesy of Tony, Bruce and Steve. Thor considered himself too Godly to throw eggs, and so limited himself to throwing a small LEGO hammer at him. With the agent distracted, the assassins quickly picked up the sack with the goodies, and dragged/carried it to the kitchen vent. They opened it with little difficulty while the others kept up the onslaught in the playroom. They quickly ran in, deposited the sack on the floor, next to the fridge, and began to fill it with all the rewards of their hard work and planning.

Fury threw open the playroom doors, only to be met by a cry of "_FREEDOM!", a bunch of lasers trained on him, _and an onslaught of plastic balls, rubber tipped darts and two little bits of custard-cookie mix. Ignoring this extra addition of food to his already cuisine covered person, he strode into the kitchen, and was met by a suction cup tipped arrow sticking itself into his eyepatch.

"_**BARTON!"**_

Janet burst into helpless giggles.

* * *

**Maybe I'll continue right from here next chapter.**


	5. Of darts and bows

**Sorry for the wait, I've been swamped with homework. Also, don't expect updates quickly for the next three weeks. My exams are starting in two. This chapter's a bit shorter than usual, and I'm only posting this because I couldn't bear to keep you lovely readers waiting any longer. Thanks to anybody who reviewed, followed or favorite, or even just viewed. Reviews fuel the already (hopefully) strong fire, people. Oh, and for those of you who haven't watched the series, sorry about the Transformers references.  
**

* * *

He made to run into the kitchen, fantasizing about twisting that annoying insect's neck, when his path was impeded by a number of darts sticking themselves to his leg. He quickly swung around to the left, where the ambush had come from, murder in his eyes, and was met by a hail of rapidly fired darts, sticking to his stomach, arms and legs. He identified the source of the onslaught as one red head spy, with a ground mounted machine gun in front of her, firing for all she was worth, which was not much to him right now. As he made to apprehend this new assailant, he was once again disturbed by the actions of the first attacker, who stuck three simultaneously fired arrows into the side of his head.

"Avengers, _assemble!_"

Tony's cry quickly roused the others, who immediately ran to the kitchen, dodging Fury, and pelting him with an additional two eggs, which insured their getaway. Clint nodded to the sack beside him. They dove as fast as lightning to the bag, and each pulled out their respective weapons.

Fury almost forgot his anger for a moment when the other Avengers ran by, and almost sighed when he was hit by two more eggs. Then an arrow stuck itself firmly between his eyes, and his rage was back. Quickly casting his eyes around the room for any non-lethal weapons, he saw the only choice, and almost sighed again. He would _not _be reduced to throwing eggs, he would _NOT._ Oh, hell. He quickly picked up two in each hand, and threw a first wave of two eggs at the kids, which was blocked by Steve and that… that… Oh, he was going to _kill _Sitwell. He threw another egg, which met a violent end when met with an impact from Thor's new plastic hammer. He really _was _going to kill Sitwell. He threw his last round, which hadn't even gone halfway across the room when it was deterred by swift cover fire from Natasha.

* * *

Jan noticed way before anyone else, and was already on the floor in peals of laughter because of it. Bruce noticed second, since he wasn't on the front line. Steve was third. Clint and Natasha noticed it slightly later, because they were firing relentlessly, and had momentarily forgotten the _notice everything _training that had been so deeply ingrained into them. Tony noticed only when he looked up from some offensively pink bubbly concoction he was making at his chemistry set, no doubt for the Avengers' battle. He was sixth to notice. Thor was the second to last, as he was paying attention to nothing but trying to deter any more of Fury's weapons in their duty. One by one, they all noticed that _Nick Fury _was standing in front of them, covered in smashed eggs, darts and arrows in a variety of colors, and two little bits of custard cookie mix. They promptly broke into peals of laughter, rolling around on the floor, assault completely forgotten.

* * *

Nick Fury was the last to notice it. He only realized why the children were all laughing after about five seconds. And then he saw red. Those two assassins had to be dealt with. _NOW. _ He quickly grabbed each of them by the feet, and dangled them upside-down in midair, heedless to their demands for release.

"You want a piece of me? _You want a piece?_"

Clint shot an arrow each at his eye patch, his forehead, and his cheek. Stupid kids and stupid movie quotes. What was that, Transformers? He narrowed his eyes thinking, '_No… I want two!' _and picturing himself pulling Barton apart. Then he mentally shook his head. No no no no no no no, he would not fall into their world of trickery. _Do not let the demons win! _NO! That was also a line from Transformers. Oh, nonononononononono, wait that was Sam! Oh, crap, DO NOT fall into quoting movies. Nick Fury does not quote movies.

A hail of darts hit the side of his face, breaking him out of his reverie. Okay, they were going to PAY. Something hitting his knees took his attention there. Thor was hitting them with his hammer, and the rest of the team wasn't far behind. Fury bolted. Natasha and Clint dangled upside-down in his hands, yelling extremely creative obscenities, and trying to shoot him with those _irritating_ suction cup tipped arrows and darts.

"_Burn, you sucker,_ **burn!**" Natasha hit the side of his face with a storm od darts. Stupid, stupid Transformers.

He reached a random room and barricaded himself inside using a desk, dropping the spies onto a bench. A little plastic hammer beat fruitlessly on the other side of the door, soon joined by a shield. He had to act fast. It was only a matter of time before Stark made some solution to melt down the door. He rounded on Clint and Natasha, livid. They didn't even flinch. He smiled with a vindictive pleasure as he snatched away their weapons.

"What? _NO!_"

"_Mr. Furry!"_

He continued to smile, and trapped them on the bench with a desk that was too heavy for them to push away. He discarded the gun onto a chair, and held the bow in both hand, and raised it to shoulder height. Clint's eyes widened in realization.

"No, you wouldn't."

He bent it slightly.

"No! Nononononononono!"

He bent it more.

"_Please, Mr. Furry… err… Fiery!"_

That was the last straw, even if it was an accident. Natasha patted Clint consolingly on the back as he looked away. _KATTRACK! _The snap of plastic breaking filled the room. Natasha put her other hand on his shoulder as he fought tears. At this, Fury had a moment of clarity, and he wondered just when it was that he had become so _evil._

Then the moment was gone, and he allowed himself to live in the pemporary moment, reveling in his revenge.

"Fury?"

Aw, crap. She had arrived. Jan's voice was as sharp as a blade as it cut through the door, sounding so threatening that he was almost scared. But he wasn't. Nick Fury was _never _scared. But he had to act fast.

"Fury, I'll blow open the door in five seconds if you don't respond in that time."

Crap. He quickly grabbed the Nerf gun. A calculating look crossed Romanoff's eyes. One moment before it happened, he knew what she was going to do. She screamed.

"_Time's up!"_

He was dead. But he could die in glory. He threw the gun to the ground and stamped on it with all his might. This time her wail was real. The door was blown off it's hinges, the desk along with it, to resounding cheers from the kids. He bailed through a back door, dignity be damned.


	6. Of recaps and preparations

**I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY. I'm sorry for the latest of late updates. I had exams, I'll admit, but I spent the whole week of term break just lazing around, doing nothing. I am sorry. Also, this chapter is extremely short and not very funny. I'm sorry for that too. My muse has sort of left me and I am sick (Literally, I have a cold.) Anyway, I'm sure the muse will come back eventually, and the moment it does, I will… I will… yeah, okay, let's just say that I will pump out as many chapters as possible whenever I can.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Of Recaps and Preparations**

* * *

Jan jogged over to the curtains and pulled them shut, while Thor, taller than the others, switched off the lights easily. They both went back to the couch, where the other Avengers were already seated, buzzing with excitement.

"Okay, JARVIS start it.", Tony said to his AI.

Jarvis turned the projector on, and started the video of the Avengers' assault on the kitchen and Fury.

There was a light thudding as Clint and Natasha crawled through the shafts. They laughed a bit when Clint fell down the slide; Clint grinned sheepishly. After a while of pretty much uneventful crawling, they came to the part where the egg did it's duty – this bit was met with resounding guffaws, a few falls from the couch, and a few tears of laughter. When the raiding part came, they couldn't think of anything else but the treats that still awaited them in the fridge. Finally, at the end, they marveled to see their skill at 'handing SHIELD their butts on a platter' as Tony exclaimed jubilantly between laughs.

They piled out of the room, almost in fits of laughter. Tony was joking about how Fury had, for once, looked _sunny._ "Okay, plan number two has already been devised." Tony spoke his thoughts aloud. "Tomorrow, we find out where they are keeping our 'Mark 3' toys, and we attack the day after. Is that clear, team?" His team nodded in response.

* * *

"Are they done yet, Amora?"

"Yes, master. And they are perfect."

"Good."

* * *

Clint held his new bow in his hands, testing it's tension. Stark had designed a new one for him after _the event _as he referred to it. He had also designed a new gun for Natasha and had also made a cursory suit of toddler sized armor for himself. He had also painstakingly inlaid stainless steel in Steve's shield and Thor's hammer. All five weapons had been carefully hidden from the adults for fear of them being confiscated. All of them _were_, after all, much more dangerous than what they should have been for toddlers. They were all armed with actual bullets, arrows, arc reactors and whatever else Stark had put in them. He had declared that they were only to be used in cases of emergency. Being toddlers, they had, of course, decided that recovering their Mark 3 weapons _was _an emergency, although they didn't mean to shoot anyone. Clint checked the quiver that Stark had made along with the bow, and did a quick inventory of his arsenal. Flash bangs, smokescreens, a few weak tranquilizers, and some nets.

"Okay, team, it's time." Tony said to the room at large, "Let's go over the plan once again. Thor, Cap, you're in charge of the distraction. Get all agents out of the room no matter the cost. Clint, Natasha, I'm with you. I'll search the computers while you act as lookouts. Bruce, you oversee everything with the comm. devices Jan was nice enough to swipe us." He indicated Jan, who smiled, stood up, waved and bowed. "Okay, everyone ready?" There were nods of assent.

"Okay, let's go!"

* * *

**Next chapter will be up soon! Sorry for the shortness.**


	7. Of Hacking and Traps

**And the muse is **_**back. **_**I'm feeling much better today, so I typed up another chapter. Well, I don't have much to say. Except that I've started to work on a LEGO helicarrier in Lego Digital Designer (Yeah, I'm a Lego freak). Also, I have discovered that the jet used in the movie to shoot the hulk in the helicarrier actually **_**exists. **_**I thought that, with the rotating… engine… er… thruster- I can't remember the word right now for some reason- anyway, with the rotating thingy (What? It looked futuristic), it had been computer generated, but turns out it's not – it's an F-35B(the STOVL version of the main plane). Actually, the plane itself **_**was **_**CGI, because the Air Force wouldn't let the crew use actual planes for a spy agency that they called a '**a covert, "extra-governmental" organization whose loyalties are unclear**', as written on Wikipedia. I found out about the plane through one of Fenix84's stories, but at first thought that it had been fabricated. Well, anyway, thank you, Fenix84. Okay, enough author blabber. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Of Hacking and Traps**

* * *

"Argh! How the hell do you do this?" Tony exclaimed as he hit his head yet again on the low vent roof.

"Sshhh!" Natasha berated, "Keep quiet. We're nearly on top of them. Look! There's the opening!" They quickly and quietly crawled over to the grill. Several advanced looking computers had been placed in rows along the length of the entire room. An agent or two was sitting at each of them – Several complex graphs and lines of text flitted across the screen of all the computers. Fury was on a raised platform at one end of the room, arguing with a scientist about a few papers. Steve's voice suddenly sounded in his ear.

"Okay, away team, we're in position. Distraction activation in 3…" They hastily loosened the grill's rubber holder, "2…" They silently removed the grill and crouched in anticipation, "1. Push it." A model plane suddenly came whooshing in through the open door, automated catapults whirring as they fired six eggs in quick succession at random people. A little valve on the plane's bottom opened, dispersing a green, _stinky _gas among the agents. Fury quickly yelled at an agent, but, after he pressed a few keys on his keyboard, he looked up and shook his head. Fury just pinched the bridge of his nose and said something uncomplimentary about JARVIS. He then barked an order to the agents and scientists, who immediately unplugged some devices from the computers and left, coughing, followed by Fury, who shut the doors behind him.

* * *

Agents came pouring out of the double doors, coughing, retching and sputtering. Thor quickly drew his head back into the relative safety of the ventilation shaft. The two of them speedily pulled the grill shut, but not fast enough. Fury spotted Thor's leg as it disappeared, and this time, he didn't go running towards the playroom. He first calmly dismissed all the agents to another lab, and then went calmly over to an elevator. It didn't work. He promptly turned, and went for the stairs. He wouldn't let anger cloud his mind. He _would not. _He was just going to make those kids _pay._

* * *

"You're clear."

"Thanks. We'll take it from here. Bruce, could you turn on the filtration system?"

"Done."

SHIELD had managed to access, to some degree, JARVIS's servers. He could still run the house and such, but could not leak information on SHIELD to the kids. They opened the grill, Clint stuck the sticky rope to the Shaft's roof, and they all slid down, landing just as the last vestiges of the gas disappeared into the filtration system's vacuum grills.

Okay, a left here, then a right a meter ahead. Ah, here was the grill 'landmark'. They were close now. "Wait." Steve gestured for Thor to stop. Fury was walking right underneath their shaft. "Bruce, he's coming. Are the defenses in good shape?"

"Yeah, they are."

"Good. We'll be there a few seconds before him. Keep them ready."

"Okay, Clint, you take the door. Natasha, you take the window over there." Tony gestured to the lone window in the room that looked out onto the hallway. "This computer here looks like it has the mainm servers in this room. Let's just hope it has the toys' location too."

They quickly moved to their designated posts. Tony sat himself down on the chair in front of the computer, and pressed a button on it, cranking it up to a more comfortable height. He moved his fingers rapidly over the keyboard, occasionally using the mouse or the touch screen. The other two stood at their posts, eyes roving and ears alert.

"Damn it!" Tony suddenly exclaimed.

"What?"

"They're not here."

"_What?"_

"Lower your voice, Clint. We'll have to go back now. Tony, you think you can hack into the computers from the playroom?"

"No. The computer we were given isn't powerful enough. The main server _is _somewhere in the building. They wouldn't have left it all in the helicarrier. It's always imperative to have at least some information near the lab itself. If I had to guess, I'd say Fury is probably carrying it around in his pocket. He must be worried that we'd try to pull off a stunt like this."

"Well that's just _great._" Clint groaned. "How are we supposed to access a hard disk in Fury's pocket?"

Then, Tony suddenly had a brainwave, "Hey! The defenses!"

"What about them?" Natasha perked up at what looked like an idea.

"Well, if we modified the trap a bit to pull off his coat…"

"Come off it!" Clint said, "There's only the slimmest chance that he's even got it in-"

"But it's still a chance" Bruce's voice suddenly came through their comms.

"Yeah!" Tony agreed excitedly, "Steve, how far are you from Furry?"

They had abandoned the 'Mr'.

"We're right on top of him."

"Stall him."

"Done."

* * *

Steve reached into his pocket and extracted two eggs while Thor crawled as quickly as he dared while maintaining total silence towards the next shaft opening.

"Okay, Friend Steve, I am in position."

"Good."

Steve crawled back down the vent towards another opening. Both were luckily on hinges. Fury was just rounding the corner, about three meters away. _Wait for it…NOW! _He hurled an egg at Fury, who saw it a split second too late to dodge. He instead raised an arm, trying to defend his face as best he could. The egg hit the back of his forearm with a light crunch as the shell broke, sending it's contents everywhere, mostly over the leather of Fury's trench coat and the surrounding walls. He lowered his arm just a little to survey the scene for the assailant – whose second egg slipped right off the top of Fury's arm and hit his forehead with another satisfying report. Fury cursed and ran for the other end of the hallway. Right when he was underneath Thor's opening, a white shower fell onto him, coating his (sticky) egg-covered person with a healthy dose of flour. He then reached straight for the safety of an… umbrella which he deployed with the most satisfied smirk a man ever had when employing defense of a nature such as this. He promptly stiffly turned around, maintaining his injured dignity all the way to a bathroom door… and then charging inside it, colorful obscenities from his mouth polluting the surrounding atmosphere, which looked oddly like the site of a kitchen food fight.

* * *

"Shall I send them, master?"

"No. Wait a few days. We must observe them a while longer for them to be perfect."

"Yes, master."

* * *

"We've secured a few minutes."

"Good."

Tony and company were almost at the playroom; they could see Steve and Thor up ahead.

"Bruce, how's it coming?"

"I'm about half done."

"We'll be there soon, buddy. Keep at it."

They soon reached the playroom and jumped down into it, immediately rushing to help Bruce in pushing back a tall post that was holding up one corner of a net.

"Okay" Bruce started, "I think we'll manage to pull off Furry's coat with this hook over here, but we'll need some mechanism to get his arms out of his sleeves. I was thinking of using these hooks over here with these clips." He help up two heavy-duty metal clips.

"Yeah" Tony agreed, "Then he'll land up in that net and we all know what happens _then._"

They all gave creepily evil nods. Jan suddenly burst in, with a cappuccino in one hand, "Fury's coming down this way, and _boy _does he look mad."

"Quick!"

They speedily assembled the rest of the trap while Jan kept a look out.

"He's coming round the corner!" Jan really wished that Hank was here to see the machine. He had been called away to a meeting in the Baxter building. He would be arriving the next day, with the other Hank, Richard, Pepper and Jane, who had called the previous day to let them know that Darcy had insisted on tagging along. The other scientists had stayed on the helicarrier for a few extra days, examining a few milligrams of vibranium to reacquaint themselves with the substance. At that moment, Fury walked in.

* * *

**And a cliffhanger.**

**Fun Fact – The F-35 generally has more sophisticated technology in comparison to the F-22. It is smaller, slower, and cannot go as high, but otherwise is more 'flexible'. It is considered by some that an F-22 with some F-35 like upgrades would be the ideal fighter jet. Wikipedia still maintains that the F-22 is the best bird out there, but I think this info might be outdated. **_**Might. **_**I myself will probably use hybrids of the two, plus the originals for my stories.**

**Reviews encourage me! Please, review, favorite or follow. Please?  
**


	8. Of Dominoes and Nervous Breakdowns

… **Okay, nothing I say right now can justify the delay in this update. So, I'm sorry, alright? And I **_**promise **_**that I will never leave a chapter pending like this again. I'm not even going to give any excuses.**

* * *

**Random fact of the chapter: Have you guys watched the new generation of Marvel animation, with Avengers Assemble, Ultimate Spider-man and Hulk and the Agents of S. M. A. S. H.? It's pretty good, but I'm still not sure if I prefer it or Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Okay, that wasn't really a good fact thingy, but I'm a little pressed for time right now. I'll modify the chapter later.**

**Enjoy:**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Of dominoes and nervous breakdowns**

* * *

Fury walked in. _Click. Doing! _A spring shot up into the air and hit a little red lever. Fury followed the spring's path with his eyes. Nothing happened. Fury slowly raised an eyebrow. Tony coughed awkwardly.

"Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen. Or… something _was _supposed happen. _JARVIS! Deploy!_"

Fury, out of instinct, slid into a defensive stance and had his hand half-way to his pistol before he remembered that he had to be _cautious _with these kids. They could, admittedly, blow him up. And it was at that moment that a Coke can fell onto a switch and Fury reacted on instinct. Or rather… freaked. _Duvfm, duvfm, duvfm, duvfm, _bullets flew from his gun's barrel like lightning, as Fury pivoted around, shooting at anything that moved and anything that didn't.

"_Mr. Furry! Hey! Don't _shoot _us! It was just a joke!_"

Tony, of course, thought that Fury was trying to kill them, not realizing that he had simply cracked. _Click! Click! _Fury had run out of bullets. But that didn't stop him. He simply slid another magazine out of his pocket, and loaded the gun.

* * *

"Shots fired in the playroom. Repeat, shots fired. All personnel on the 63rd floor, report to the playroom immediately!"

Agent Sitwell's voice rang through the comm. device in Maria's ear. She looked up from her laptop immediately, motioned hastily for Coulson to stay, and immediately ran out of the room checking the bullets in her semi-automatic.

"JARVIS! What's the situation?"

"_Director Fury appears to be having a mental breakdown."_

"_WHAT?"_

Oh, yeah. Fury had been uneasy ever since _his _response team had been reduced to a bunch of toddlers. She had known that he was on the verge of a meltdown.

"Stream a live video from the playroom to my phone, JARVIS."

She took out her phone, still running, and watched as Fury wheeled around in a circle, shooting everything in sight. Stark was behind a sofa, some robotic arms assembling… a toddler sized Iron Man suit onto him. Wow. Steve had quickly found out that his plastic shield was no match for bullets, and was now behind Stark's sofa, pleading with him to hurry up. Hawkeye and the Widow were in the middle of things, dodging bullets as they launched suction cup dart after suction cup dart at Fury's head, which did nothing to slow him down on his rampage. Bruce was behind an armchair, trying desperately not to hulk out, while Thor, brave as usual, tried to 'prove' that he could beat fury's bullets with a plastic hammer. Crap.

She finally reached the playroom. A few agents had gathered outside, waiting for her to give the signal. She, however, motioned for them to stand down, as she tip-toed over to the door.

"_JARVIS!_" Tony's voice rang from inside. He looked absolutely panic-stricken now, as a bullet of Fury's had hit a motor in the assembly arms, and they had malfunctioned, leaving half his suit on him, "_Deploy! Plan C!_"

* * *

Tony hoped desperately that three was a charm as he watched the bowling pin fall. _C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon._ _Clunk! _The pin hit a line of dominoes. _Oh, thank god_. _Tatatatatatatatatatata _the dominoes started to fall, streaming around the room in a fluid line… then Fury shot at the line, obliterating a few dominoes, and breaking the line. _Damn_.

"Steve! The dominoes! Get them running again. I'll put the suit on. Clint! Natasha! Cover him!"

"_Done!"_

"_On it!"_

Steve raised his shield and made a break for it. Clint, to cover Steve, aimed… _aimed… __**aimed... **_and fired a dart that stuck right on Fury's eye patch and made him _mad_.

"Ghhr_raaa__**ahhh!**_"

Bullets flew in Clint's general direction – all missing completely. And, at just that moment, Fury ran out of bullets. He hastily reached inside his coat for a fresh magazine… and pulled out a shiny hand-sized, thin box – the hard-drive. Tony gasped, "Thor! The drive! Natasha, distract Fury! Hawkeye, get Bruce to calm down!" Then he started muttering to himself _c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, _as he fervently tinkered with the arms, almost hacking at it with a screwdriver.

Thor immediately launched himself at Fury's legs, smacking them with hollow plastic for all he was worth. Tony mentally face palmed. Snatch the hard disk. Not hit him. God. "Natasha, Thor, switch positions!"

Natasha immediately dived behind an armchair that Fury was in front of. Thor, having finally caught Fury's attention, danced surprisingly nimbly around Fury's legs, occasionally giving one of them a swing with his hammer. Steve, seeing his chance, dove for the line of dominoes, landing a few feet away. Fury had hastily stuffed the hard disk back into an inner pocket, stuffing a fresh magazine back into his gun, seemingly pulling it out of nowhere. Steve threw his plastic shield at the domino line, only to have it deflected by a bullet from Fury.

* * *

Maria looked inside through the windowed door, and blinked. _What the hell?_

* * *

Natasha climbed over the chair's back, landing like a cat on the seat. Great. He'd put it back into his pocket. Hawkeye, meanwhile, had run for Bruce, looking around desperately for anything that would calm Bruce down. "Tony! What does Bruce need to do?"

"He's got to modify the trap a little. He can remove the part where the coat is meant to be snagged. Fury will get trapped a little quicker."

"Okaayyy… Bruce, buddy, come on. The trap need to be modified, you know you want to do it. You _know _you want to."

Bruce looked at him, and the green tinge in his eyes receded slightly."O-Okay. What am I supposed to do?"

"Remove the part of the trap that's supposed to get Fury's coat of."

"Of course, to save time. There was a flaw in the trap that if Fury could get over his shock in time, he could have broken out quite easily."

"Uhh… shock?"

Bruce grinned almost evilly.

"You'll see."

* * *

**Yeah, I have absolutely no right to a cliffhanger right now, but I'm only putting it in because I have no time to write any more right now, and really want to upload another chapter to feel less guilty. Thanks for guilt-tripping me. Really, no sarcasm, no offense, thanks for pushing me back to writing.**


	9. Of Fixing and Soft Spots

**Well, a bit faster this time, but I'm still not happy. Also, this chapter is too short to really qualify as something you guys deserve. Random fact to come later.**

**Chapter 9: Of Fixing and… Soft Spots**

Clint was, admittedly, apprehensive as he ran after Bruce, towards a section of the trap that looked like a miniature loading crane seemingly made up of snooker cues that Tony had procured from God knows where. A tangle of poles crisscrossed in front of the contraption, along with a few sinister looking hooks that Clint did not want to get tangled up with. Fury had, thankfully, shifted his focus to Thor, who now appeared to be aiming for a more… central… region. He was actually making Fury dance, swiping at every opportunity he spotted, while Fury did a weird waltz, still managing to squeeze off shots. How he could have remained in this less-than-rational state for so long, Clint did not know. As they finally reached the crane, Bruce did not waste a second in pulling out some hex bolts that they hadn't been able to find proper holes for. The whole mess of poles wobbled ominously, precariously held together as it was.

"Uuuhhh… Bruce? You sure that's safe?"

Bruce quirked an eyebrow, obviously enjoying Clint's discomfort, "Of course not."

And the poles toppled, hitting the floor centimeters from their toes. The resounding crash attracted everyone's attention. Steve paused in his army crawl towards to line of dominoes. Tony stopped jabbing at the robotic arms. Natasha looked mid-jump, and had to somersault off the sofa cushion. Thor, however, continued his assault, undeterred. Fury's attention was also attracted. Normally, this would be a bad thing, but in this case, it provided just the distraction Thor needed. A hollow cuboid of plastic sank into a soft spot of Fury's anatomy. Somehow, Clint's brain quickly registered the following act as something that needed to be seen in slow motion, and so watch it in slow motion he did. Fury's eyes widened slightly. Then the pain reached his brain. He buckled instantly, hands flashing to said soft spot. He collapsed onto the floor, gun discarded, twisting around on his back. But they all knew Fury recovered quickly from pain. Natasha dove for his jacket, hands flashing into each pocket in his coat like lightning, and slipping the hard-disk out of one, as slick as water. Steve crawled like crazy towards the dominoes, taking advantage of the pause in the shooting. Tony pretty much attacked the screws, tightening and screwing like it was the end of the world.

Clint blinked, "Was that really necessary?"

But Bruce was too busy to answer. He reached for a polymer rope, "Here, Clint, grab this rope. I'll get that one and we'll bridge the gap."

"Okay."

Bruce reached for the other rope, and in seconds, they had the two ropes strongly knotted together. The contraption would now move smoothly from the previous part of the trap into the next. Fury was already coming around; he had the look in his eyes that said, '_…'_. That look couldn't be described – too terrifying. The suit finally formed around Tony with a huge grinding noise. Steve jumped for and kick-started the dominoes. Fury was already getting shakily to his feet, eyes darting around for his gun. Tony flew over to him, looking for all the world like a kid in an iron man toy costume, well, except that he was… flying, of course. He alighted behind Fury, who was just a few steps off the optimum positioning for the trap. Steve rushed over; Thor was already there. The three of them pushed against his back, using all the strength they had. Fury, surprised, took the two steps necessary. All of them dove for cover. And then a hook descended on Fury, grabbed him by the scruff of the coat, and hauled him off bodily towards step two of the trap.

**Sorry for the shortness.**


End file.
